“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.” (Carl Rogers)

Friday, 19 June 2015

Reasons to be Cheerful (Part Twenty One)

An odd week all in all - dunno about reasons to be cheerful, nothing to write home about, unless I count that none of it was tearful, just the day to day, I suppose, which is almost always fucking dull!

All focus on the homefront this week, the kind of stuff that holds little interest but demands attention: a fallen-off door, a locked-us-in-door handle on a different door, a falling down wall - which had to be made safe for people - a leaking roof and neighbours all demanding attention in their own way. So attention duly proferred, a wall now gone and forgotten and fence built (thanks Phil!), and scheduled doors and handles and the roof really fixed while the sun was shining. And now back to another reality.

A have to and a don't have to. Finally taking my courage in both hands and restarting a negatively charged process that nevertheless has to be done in the interests of a small human. I also did my taxes very early indeed just to get that shit out of the way - karma for the winter times of serving the evil google empire for cash before I realised the error of my ways and that I don't have to and won't do that thing not no more (Heidegger told me not to do that thing). Or, I tried to do my taxes very early. You'd think online would make it much simpler so to do... it's a fucking nightmare. They really need to simplify their service. I understand about security etc, but ffs I have no idea where I am on their site, it's so fucking frustrating as shitehawks, the shitehawk frustrating shitehawks... anyway, I had to print off the form from their shitehawk site and complete longhand! And I got some done. The rest next week. 'Twill be done.

And another reality, another dad word salad... unable to find words and yet anxiously aware of that lack, that inability. It must feel very frightening indeed.


  1. OMG the humpty joke is almost not funny, it is, pain-full.

    Hopefully 11 days on you have emerged past the demanding neighbours and through the gateway of the shitehawks into something that feels a little less f-ing dull.

    The ongoing process of your dad, day-to-day. night-to-night can't help, the relentlessness of life at times.:O(

    I have the past week (on the loo, only chance I get of late, yeh OK too much information) been reading a very easy read (fiction) "Jake Fades A Novel of Impermanence " about a lay Zen monk /teacher who appears to have some early signs of memory loss/lapses. It was good to get a sense of approaching what must be so frightening, from a perspective of openness and acceptance, yet still confusion . I think I have been enjoying the book (which as I say is probably by most standards a rubbish read) because it is situated in the nitty gritty real world of American diners and bars and populated by the less than hopefuls , yet right here in the midst of ALL life
    ALL life is .

    I was reminded by your humpty joke of a joke I saw a few months back ( I might have posted it on the list) it was about an elephant in a court room being interrogated: "So you are expecting me to believe that you were there right in the middle of the room but nobody saw you?" :O)

  2. That is such a great elephant joke...

    Yeah, finally getting these things sorted out and it's oddly rewarding, thanks!

    I've put Jake Fades (caveat noted) on my when-the-fucking-doctorate-is-done-and-I-don't-feel-guilty-reading-non-doctoral-stuff reading list :-)


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